My favorite headline from today: "Jean-Claude Van Damme Loses Web Site Job." It sounds like one of those fake headlines from The Onion, but it's real. And I really think it needs no further comment.

Another Border's adventure. Their "machine that makes espressos, chais, hot chocolate, and other concoctions" wasn't working, so all they had were regular coffee, tea, and cold drinks. This seemed to cause much confusion and sighs from the customers. Heaven forbid they have to drink regular coffee with cream and sugar! "It's in the Bill Of Rights that I have a fancy drink every single day, or I refuse to even read a book!" I can imagine them thinking.

I always order a chai, and I did so today, but when they told me the machine was on the fritz (is that how you spell it?), I didn't care. I just talked with the guys behind the counter and we laughed at a few jokes we had made, and I ordered a cup of tea. There are too many other things in life to get upset about without creating some other hell for yourself like "they don't have my coffee drink! I want to see the manager!"

Speaking of, before I left, there was a woman downstairs, an artist, who came in to speak to the events manager about a show she was going to have there in April. She was told that the events manager was on vacation, which (you guessed it) caused much confusion and sighs. I think she asked the poor guy four different ways if she could talk to this person/leave a message/talk to someone else in charge, when the person she needed was on vacation. She finally got to use their phone to leave a message on the person's voice mail. I can imagine what she said. Ah, the joys of retail.

It reminds me of the time I was at North Station in Boston, waiting for the 5PM train. All of the trains were delayed because of a huge brush fire that was engulfing a large area a couple of towns away, near the train tracks. The station was crowded with people, all waiting and wondering, wanting to get home. Much confusion and sighs (when people are upset, they seem to sigh a lot). I happened to be next to the infomation window when the woman behind the glass made the announcement about the fire. A woman walked up to the window and screamed, "BUT I HAVE TO GET HOME! MY CHILD IS WITH A BABYSITTER!" She was told that there was nothing that could be done. There was a FIRE, after all. The woman said something sarcastic, and stormed off in a huff, pissed at the inefficiency of the trains when it comes to unpredictable fire contingency plans! The nerve of them!

Next time, the railroad should get Jean-Claude to kick some butt.

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