Thursday, April 29, 2004...AND ALF WASN'T A DOCUMENTARY
From the "Give Me A Break" department: scientists and government officials say NBC's earthquake mini-series is more entertainment than science. In light of this news, I'd like to point out a few things:
You can't really turn a DeLorean into a time machine and go back in time and try to get your parents together at the big school dance so you will, in fact, be born.
Remember in Superman, when Christopher Reeve flies around the Earth so fast that he reverses time and saves Margot Kidder? Two things: one, you can't really do that, and two, human beings can't fly, even if they are wearing a cape.
In real life, Jim Belushi could never be married to Courtney Thorne-Smith.
posted @ 4:12 pm
PEPSI, YOUR MOVE
Oh, can someone just stop the insanity?!
posted @ 2:27 pm
Wednesday, April 28, 2004
YEAH, BUT TO BE FAIR, IT PROBABLY HELD PHONE NUMBERS TOO
I can't remember if I've linked to this before or not: the Honeywell Model 316 Kitchen Computer from 1965. It cost $10,000 back then, but it stored your recipes! Check out the advertisement, where the computer table alone is bigger than the woman's kitchen. I mean, you can't even open the damn refrigerator door.
posted @ 6:33 pm
HARD TIMES
For the record, I do not use Viagra.
Why, then, do I keep getting these e-mails for something called "The Viagra Alternative"? I used to get a ton of erection-oriented spam, but the amount has died off in the past 3 months. My first thought was that maybe, just maybe someone realized that anonymous mass e-mails to everyone in the country isn't the best business strategy, and that most of them had stopped but not this company.
Actually, that's not true. My first thought was "wow, that sounds like the new Robert Ludlum novel! How does he do it?"
posted @ 6:16 pm
Tuesday, April 27, 2004
INTO THE VOID
Today, a first at PBJ: cartoons! Hugh MacLeod's "Gapingvoid" cartoons will be seen monthly.
posted @ 2:09 am
Thursday, April 22, 2004
HITTING A NERVE
Seems my TV Turn-Off column (link below) has caused a ruckus over at Metafilter. Go on over and knock the comments total into triple figures.
posted @ 7:40 pm
YET ANOTHER EXAMPLE OF MY OBSESSION
Here it is, site redesign #3,962. Hope you like it.
posted @ 4:56 pm
Tuesday, April 20, 2004
KEEP YOUR TV TURNED ON ALL DAY, JUST TO TICK THEM OFF
Oh no. It's "TV Turn-Off Week" again. That's what I hate about these annual protests. They seem to come back...I don't know, every year or so.
I wrote a response to them four years ago for Ironminds, and I got more than a couple of e-mails about it. I've updated the column.
Have you checked out the TV Turnoff web site? It's hilarious. I particularly like their logo, with its little cartoons of people jumping aroound, all healthy, leading active lifestyles. I think I last saw those people on a bottle of spring water, or maybe it was a box of tampons.
They have a quote from the Centers For Disease Control:
"When it comes to children, there are two successful strategies to prevent obesity. First, parents should take control of the TV set and limit how much TV their children watch..."
Yes, but also take away their books, because sitting down and reading will make you obese too.
It continues:
Parents also need to be in charge of what children are offered to eat. Then the kids can either eat it or not..."
Um...huh?
They have quite an impressive list of people who support the week, including several medical associations, children's groups, and health organizations. And also something called "Earth Force," which I'm pretty sure is the name of the group of superheroes that protects the planet from monsters and other evildoers.
And look at this, they are also sponsoring a poster contest! This year's theme is "What I Do When I'm Not Watching Television." Oh, please please please, can someone out there who's handy with a marker and crayon make a poster titled "Masturbate While Websurfing For Porn!" or maybe "Drink Until I Can't Remember My Own Name?"
posted @ 3:12 pm
Monday, April 19, 2004
CANDYFREAK
Lots of good stuff over at PBJ recently, if I do say so myself. This week: an excerpt from Steve Almond's terrific book, Candyfreak.
posted @ 4:29 pm
Sunday, April 18, 2004
GOODBYE MACH 3
Taking a quick break from the novel to say this:
The new Sensor 3 razor. Best. Razor. Ever.
posted @ 10:44 am
Monday, April 12, 2004
LISTS LISTS LISTS
In this week's PBJ, 14 writers and readers give me their lists of their 10 favorite novels.
posted @ 10:41 pm
Sunday, April 11, 2004
MAYBE IT'S PAULY SHORE
So, who is this mysterious blogger? Rumors say it might be Owen Wilson (possible) or George Clooney (doubtful). Regardless, a really interesting read.
posted @ 1:54 pm
Monday, April 5, 2004
CLEVENGER TALKS ABOUT WRITING IN "THE PIT", PLAYING POKER, AND WHY HE LOVES PEDIALYTE
In this week's PBJ, an interview with Craig Clevenger, author of The Contortionist's Handbook.
posted @ 4:03 pm